Let's try to describe a few significant differences:
- Men's cognitions (attention, thinking) or conditional "mental energy" are stronger in focus, but weaker in their ability to withstand mental stress for a long time. Figuratively, the male psyche can be compared to a thin, narrowly focused stream of water. The more the jet is directed and focused, the stronger its potential. Such a jet can even penetrate metal. But as soon as this jet is divided into two or more, it immediately loses its power. That is why men who have clear goals in their lives, are focused and do not spray themselves on secondary unnecessary tasks are more likely to succeed and realize their potential. And at the same time, it is often more difficult for men to withstand physical or mental stress for a long time than for women. The female psyche is designed in such a way that all energy seems to be evenly distributed in space and time. It is like a wide river that flows slowly in the channel and washes the banks. The energy of a river does not cause such instantaneous, severe destruction as a narrowly directed stream of water. However, it is able to slowly and steadily erode the banks, grind away coastal stones, and sometimes flood neighboring plains. This image to some extent reflects women's behavior: their flexibility, focus on details, focus on the short term rather than on long-term goals, uncertainty in choices, and ability to perform routine tasks well.
- Women are better able than men to switch their attention quickly, and they can talk about several different topics almost simultaneously. One moment she is telling her husband about a situation at work today, and the next moment she is asking him about his vacation plans for next year. Men's thoughts, on the other hand, tend to have a clear direction. If he's talking to a friend about car repairs, the next topic will only come up when the previous one has been exhausted.
- Men are generally more active and risky, while women are more attentive and better able to control their behavior. For example, there are differences in the way men and women behave behind the wheel, according to research conducted by British scientists. Women's driving behavior is usually characterized by strict adherence to rules and road signs. Women are more careful while driving and less likely to exceed the speed limit. But at the same time, they are more likely to get lost in unforeseen situations. Men's driving is usually more aggressive. Men often "compete" to see who has the most powerful car, more often exceed the speed limit and break the rules. But they react much more effectively in critical or unpredictable situations. A man reacts more quickly; he seems to turn into a "tool" for the immediate solution of the task at hand.
- Men react more painfully to their own mistakes. When a man makes a mistake, he considers himself a failure because he was unable to perform the task properly. Because of this, men are often reluctant to admit their mistakes and ask for help. In a man's opinion, asking for help can be a manifestation of unacceptable weakness. A man is more likely to try to correct a mistake on his own, to understand it and try not to demonstrate his failures to other people. A man is especially wary of admitting his mistakes to a woman in order not to look like a failure in her eyes. On the other hand, it is often not difficult for a woman to ask for help with something she cannot handle on her own. When a woman advises a man to take help from someone else, the man hears: "You're incompetent: you can't handle it yourself." To avoid such problems, a woman needs to be sure that she does not make her husband feel like a failure or a failure by discussing with him what needs to be done. A man should understand that a woman does not want to hurt him, but only to help him, so he should not take any offers of help as a personal insult or suspicion of incompetence.
- Men and women orient themselves in time and space somewhat differently. Women's subjective perception of time is worse; there is an assumption that this factor depends on women's higher emotionality. Emotions can "absorb" or subjugate attention, and therefore a person stops perceiving the passage of time. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to be guided by objective parameters when assessing time. Spatial orientation depends on the peculiarities of perception. Men's vision is "telescopic": they see space narrowly and far away. Women, on the other hand, have "panoramic" vision: they see a short distance, cover a large part of the space around them, and notice details. The textbook example of sour cream in the refrigerator describes this feature well. For a woman to get the sour cream out of the fridge, it is enough to say: "Please get the sour cream out of the fridge." Most men will need to add detailed instructions, for example: "The sour cream is on the second shelf from the bottom, standing on the right, next to the beer can, in a white and blue plastic bag labeled 'Sour cream'." As for other channels of perception, women have significantly higher sensitivity and selectivity to sounds, smells, and tastes.
- Men's activities and interests are often innovative and exploratory in nature. Even in childhood, boys are more interested in how a toy is designed than in its purpose (hence all the numerous disassembled or broken appliances in their "household"). Boys tend to find new purposes for toys, often the most unexpected ones. Girls, on the other hand, tend to use toys only as intended, making mistakes in their use only out of ignorance. They are not prone to decomposing the whole into parts and do not have the relevant cognitive interests. Hence, women are not so much inclined to transform space as to organize it, preserve the integrity of things and only modify their appearance: decorate, decorate, decorate, and coordinate objects with each other. It is worth mentioning here that there are numerous misunderstandings and conflicts due to the difference in men's and women's perceptions of "order in the house." It is no coincidence that when buying a car, a man usually chooses the brand (engine power, chassis characteristics), while a woman chooses the color, design, and interior decoration.
- Women and men react differently to stress. When a man is stressed, he seems to withdraw and shut down. His brain is tuned to problem-solving mode, and therefore often blocks emotions and avoids communication. This state of a man can be frightening for a woman, because she is in a similar state when she is very offended. When experiencing stress, a woman herself needs direct contact with a loved one, a sense of support, affection, and also needs to speak out. And if a man, by virtue of his "masculine" logic, interrupts a woman and offers solutions or, for the best of reasons, decides to leave her alone ("she needs to think"), it is very likely that the woman will regard his attempts as disrespectful, indifferent or devaluing her problems.
- For men, work, professional activities, and career are often a priority. And this does not necessarily mean that other areas, including relationships, are sacrificed for a career. It's just that a man's self-esteem directly depends on his success and achievements. If a man is unsuccessful at work, it will be difficult for him to invest in personal relationships. The biological vocation of a man is to provide for a woman (With all due respect to modern trends in equal opportunities... We are talking here only about the biological "programming" of the brain. Besides, modern society is only a tiny drop in the evolution of man). If she appreciates his efforts, it serves as a confirmation of his success. To a certain extent, a man believes that a woman loves him as much as she appreciates what he does. Most women's self-esteem depends on the quality of their relationships with their loved ones. If a woman is unhappy in her personal life, it will be difficult for her to concentrate on her work. Feeling stressed or under pressure from the outside, a woman seeks solace in a conversation with her husband, but he sees this conversation as an obstacle to finding a solution to the problem. That's why women often complain that their relationship is more about her than about him - and it is. Men often tell their friends: "No matter what I do, she is not happy with everything." If a woman is unhappy, a man feels like a failure because he thinks that he hasn't achieved or done enough to ensure her happiness. Women, on the other hand, often assess the quality of their lives by the extent to which they can share with their husbands what bothers them, the extent to which men share their thoughts and feelings with them, the extent to which men express admiration for a woman and her contribution to the relationship.
Very often you can meet couples who are outwardly quite happy, each partner is individually quite fulfilled and does everything "as if right." However, the couple may be unhappy, in fact, due to the lack of good dialogue, understanding of each other's needs, and a sensitive response to these needs.
Despite all the existing differences, men and women still want relationships, want to be in a couple. How can we make use of all these endless differences? Can we learn to see them as opportunities and reserves for improving relationships?
First of all, it is important to know and remember them, especially in crisis and conflict situations. It would not hurt to take them into account when starting a relationship, establishing and maintaining it, and even ending it. Knowing and feeling the peculiarities of the psychology of each gender, you can understand how to behave in a given situation in order to be happy and make your partner happy.